and wow looking back on my previous posts.
ROFL. mad mood swings.. i would think at least :)
Thursday, July 10, 2008
dreams
i think.. i haven't had a dream about "this" in a long time...
but it all returns back to markville mall & the markville frnds
so.. for some reason in my dream i was job searching and i had an interview at Bulk Barns. well i do go to bulk barn often, so it seems to make sense. but before the interview, i was (for some unknown reason to me now) hanging out tlkin to doug and chester *i think* i'm sitting here right now and i simply cannot recall their faces, just that there were two boys. then suddenly my phone rings, and when i pick it up it's andrew calling. and i havn't heard his voice in a long time, so i was pretty surprised. and he was just telling me about how someone and something... about me and my ex, someone lying to him about something. i dun remember. but yeaa.. and i was like wuh? and annoyed that someone was lying to him.
but regardless.. i was happy that me and him were talkin again.
fact is: we're not talkin in real life. T_T it's sad. and it bothers me. but it's more like.. he doesn't want to talk to him. so i'm not gonna do anything to make it awkward... =/ sighz*
but it all returns back to markville mall & the markville frnds
so.. for some reason in my dream i was job searching and i had an interview at Bulk Barns. well i do go to bulk barn often, so it seems to make sense. but before the interview, i was (for some unknown reason to me now) hanging out tlkin to doug and chester *i think* i'm sitting here right now and i simply cannot recall their faces, just that there were two boys. then suddenly my phone rings, and when i pick it up it's andrew calling. and i havn't heard his voice in a long time, so i was pretty surprised. and he was just telling me about how someone and something... about me and my ex, someone lying to him about something. i dun remember. but yeaa.. and i was like wuh? and annoyed that someone was lying to him.
but regardless.. i was happy that me and him were talkin again.
fact is: we're not talkin in real life. T_T it's sad. and it bothers me. but it's more like.. he doesn't want to talk to him. so i'm not gonna do anything to make it awkward... =/ sighz*
Monday, July 7, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
ugh. it just pisses me off. knowing that i can not be at the place i want to be the most at the moment. i hate being stuck here in this place, living here just rotting away. my bitter resentment just seems to grow as the hours pass by. the fact that i am already ditched, already alone. my best friends gone... all overseas and away. nothing can seem to distract me long from this annoying sadness. even before they left physically, i've already began to shrink away from them. things changed too fast. i seem to naturally step back and raise my defenses, cuz i don't want to hurt anymore. i am tired from having to realize and acknowledge the fact that things are not the same anymore. and now i've become more bitter as to realize that where i want to go the most, is the place i will not be able to reach at all. i'm incredibly jealous and this resentment does seem to grow.
i disgust me. ugh.
frig.
i disgust me. ugh.
frig.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)